How many different ways can you say NO?
Several years ago, a coworker and I had a conversation about this very subject, and she suggested I practice different ways of saying no RIGHT THEN AND THERE. In front of her. Let’s just say I was VERY uncomfortable doing it.
After about 3 or 4 weak attempts, I ran out of ways to express my “no.” Then she showed me how it was done, with different sound levels and inflections.
While I admit she used a few choice words that I probably wouldn’t use to tell someone no, I was defiantly learning that saying no when you want too, allows youto be true to you. However, when you DON’T say no when you WANT to, you actually take on the negative emotion that is attached to that decision, and it’s often misplaced unto the person you are saying yes to! Today I want to talk about how saying no is so vital if you are to become a world changer.
Many of you who have the potential to become world changers, are that way because you actually thrive on helping others, so saying no is a foreign concept. So let’s practice together now!
Say it with me! NO!
Not ready yet? That’s ok, I realize this is a hard word to say for some of us people pleasers, so I want to give you some extra help, because this is vital if you want to be a world changer, and make a difference in the world around YOU!
“Can I say no and still be a loving person? How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? How do I stand up to hurtful behavior or abuse? Why do I feel guilty when I consider setting my boundaries?” All great questions that I have asked myself, but with the help of my father in law, and a book titled “Boundaries” by Dr. Henrey Cloud & Dr. John Townsend, I was learning to say NO, WITHOUT the guilt!
I remember telling my father in law one time, “How can you tell someone, “Sorry I can’t talk to you today, because you take up to much of my emotional brain space?” It may not always be a negative thing, but it simply requires more from you at that time than you have to give. Well, within 24 hours, I received an email from him with the heading…
There always seem to be too few ‘world changers’ out there. The fields are ripe so why are there so few harvesters? The answer is simple. The major battlefield for those who are potential harvesters is in controlling their time. There are many harvesters who are not nearly as effective as they could be. Their natural inclination, and even the expectations of those who send them, is to be involved with people and activities. They thrive on it. But to be effective they need to say ‘no’ to the horizontal dimension and spend copious amounts of time in the vertical relationship with their Heavenly Father. They need to practice solitude. Time alone, away from people to listen to HIS voice.
The apostle Paul was filled with zeal, ambition, passion and energy. He withstood every kind of hardship. But if I read history right, he had to curtail his enthusiasm and spend 17 years in the “Wilderness School of Learning.” And later, in the midst of hurrying through all his journeys, he was forced to spend great amounts of time in prison. It was during those forced times of solitude that he produced the effective ministry that has lasted through the centuries. God doesn’t deal with all leaders by forcing them into solitude. He waits for most of us to choose to take time out with Him.
How To Be Effective
When a world changer’s time is submitted to the control of their God, they reduce their horizontal activities with people and allocate vertical balance by seeking a deeper relationship with Him. There is no short cut for this, you have to schedule sizable chunks of time to be with Him. There is no instantaneous impartation of the Spirit. Their anointing will not be real until they are in the Word seeking understanding of what God wants to reveal to the current generation. Many leaders can reflect on periods when they spent significant time with God and rejoice in the revelations they discovered. They know they are anointed to see truth in the Word of God but they can only find fulfillment if they can pass this test of time management.
So many leaders intend to spend time in the spiritual realm but procrastination bleeds the opportunities away. Because of people’s “needs” and the myriad of opportunities to do things, they fail to possess their birthright of effectiveness. This is difficult for them to confess, but it is their reality.
The only way to invest time is by saying “no” to people and activities to spend time alone with God. – John King
Final thought – If you haven’t already, take 5 minutes of intentional time to be alone with God, and journal what you hear. I promise you will not be disappointed.
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Have a blessed day!