When I was first paralyzed, I spent the majority of my time and energy focusing on all the things I couldn’t do. I was limited because I didn’t want to do things if I couldn’t do it like I did before. That approach was keeping me stuck. It left me feeling even more insecure and overwhelmed. This mindset affected everything and limited my independence even more.

I remember saying, “I don’t want to drive again until I can use my feet.” I wanted desperately to be independent, yet I refused to do it differently than I did it before. I had the perspective that doing it differently made me less of a person. This perspective was more paralyzing than my disability or the chair I was in. When I started seeing other people who had less mobility than me doing far more than I was doing, I realized my view of myself was holding me back. I knew I had a choice to make. Do I stay focused on what I can’t do and remain stuck, or shift my focus to what I can do?

I wanted to drive, but to move past my self-imposed limitations, I had to find another way. If I refused the “other way” I would not be driving. That choice to accept driving with hand controls instead of my feet gave me so much independence. This independence unlocked some freedom in me and boosted my confidence. This change in perspective enabled me to have courage to try other things. Now, not only am I driving, but I have been rock climbing, downhill skiing, zip-lining, and skydiving. And that list of physical achievements does not even mention becoming an author, motivational speaker, and starting my own non-profit organization. I may not be able to do things the way I used to, but I know now there is more than one way if you’re willing to see and accept it.